Love ain't my kind of thing

2009-07-14T17:39:00.004+08:00

been real busy. lots lots lots of stuffs to handle nowadays.

* baby's medicine. poor thing.

* my new family member. =D

*cute plant ah.

2009-06-01T05:12:00.011+08:00

sorry ppl.

been real busy plus keyboard's down.

so now finally can update ler.

some photos r nt in yet. still figuring out how to use my new phone.

oh ya got a new phone - lg prada 2. really cost me a bomb.

haha so kind of broke now.

work been bad too. have to put pressure on e gals le nowadays.

* 31/5/09 - trip to uncle's organic farm.

*new self pix. =D

* my new phone .

* drinking at tantric and backstage

* mister tantric 2009 event at zirca .

* at work with ram .

* partying with jas and chika.

* ps , i'm sorry mich. no matter wat i still love u de ok?

2009-05-27T04:19:00.000+08:00

partying hard nowadays. keyboard's down. will update real soon. stay tune!

2009-05-12T12:31:00.008+08:00

been some time since i last blog. too lazy nowadays. been really stress up and very very busy. got schedules from 3 companies now. still trying hard to cope. room getting from bad to worst too. cant be bothered to pack too now. really really tired~

down with flu. feeling damn xinku!!! been sick for a few days ler. at first it was stomach problem followed by vomitting den cough, sore throat den flu. argh!

seriously need new comp and new phone. but havent been saving nowadays so its still nt really enough to get either one. =( had lots of overdue photos. cos now using one damn lousy phone. don even have money to buy memory card, so cant transfer e photos in. dont remember where i throw the cable to liao oso. so pardon my overdue photos.

* chika's bday party on 30/4/09

* out with willie to keppel bay for drinks ~

*last day of work at level 3.

* all time favourite !

* recent photos of reney ~

* a very nice hotel i visit some time back. NEW MAJESTIC HOTEL.

2009-05-02T05:29:00.000+08:00

lets recap.

landed on 29/04 1150pm. just came back from thai-bkk. really enjoyed myself with justin and chika. =) credits still goes more to JUSTIN GOH ! this time round didnt buy much stuff. the swine flu was hot, so just had to be extra careful.

hmmm. things btw me n shaun just aint dat good. we had a big quarrel and things just blew off. may be in some way, we really cant. i don wanna say much abt dis. lots of things just flash thru my mind. i don wanna doubt him. so just give him my wishes. i seems to have become so numb.

stress up abt work stuff. really need ppl's advice now. really really need a listening ear. lots of things to plan and attend to.

went for amway artistry course den movies just now. the course was great, it was so much fun and so interesting. highly recommended ! went to watch e show horsemen. not up to my expectations. its nt really dat gross, a little too emtional. and e ending was abit off e script.

* happy belated birthday to chika !
* and i miss the one dat brighten up my thailand trip !
* im looking forward to my hawaii trip !

he said " u're 20 n yet u grew up so much faster den e rest " hahaha. hmmmm many ppl always say dat of me. how should a 20 yr old behave? where should a 20 yr old go? i've been out working in e night life since 15. maybe because of this, i tends to age faster? haha. i don enjoy wat most youngsters enjoy doing. i think im rather old. i don like clubbing, don like getting drunk. i just enjoy chilling out. somewhere with soft music. i try to drink withn my own limits. and my parents don pay for anything of mine anymore. i'm kind of proud abt dis. haha. so i work hard for all my stuffs. but of cos inside me, i still have a very soft and childish side which i don usually show.

i seriously hope u'll put in e effort to know me better. =)
* nights ppl ~

2009-04-20T22:35:00.001+08:00

day to relax.

argh. damn annoying. check dis 2 profiles out. profiles.friendster.com/pinky1980 and www.facebook.com/home.php#/s.php?k=100000080&id=1099028884&sid=3c286ef36aa14d8c2b7618cf7f4869ee . dis both is just not me. i'm NOURENE LIAW !! pls dont think dat she's me. thanks ppl.

went for dinner with parents at jp. went fairprice to buy all my needies. =D the day to start enjoying at hm. bought all time favourite icecream and beers.

my silly baby had a tiring day today. had tons of work which he didnt manage to complete. he really give his best to work. but not me ! sobs ~ but no worries, i truly understand how much u wanted to prove urself. * i'll always support u in watever u do. *

let's recap e weekend.
had a tiring weekend. was helping cobin with his car carnival at the F1 pit. damn sunny. really had much fun. hope to have more such events. didnt go there to be vase k ! we did helped out. it was fun with ram around too !

2009-04-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

my baby shaun~

okay, have to admit. he really look smart in uniform. haha. really kind of miss him.

**Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up late and think of you and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too'
Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight'
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me.

miss him singing dis song~

i'm sorry baby, didnt mean to make u angry today.

2009-04-13T16:20:00.000+08:00

Baby boy~

SHAUN HENG, my dearest baby boy now. really really hope this time things turn out real fine. i'm so sick of starting all over again ler. so wish dat he'll really be the last.

this time, i'll cherish him well and learn from all my past mistakes. i don wanna lose him becos of my stupid mistakes again.

anyway, received a lawyer letter from mdis. really super stress up. althought i've stop attending classes but i didnt file for a withdrawal so they wanted me to pay the remaining course fee. so i'm paying 4k plus for buying an empty seat in school? wat kind of stupid school rule is this. really piss off. any suggestion abt this anyone? pls let me know how to handle this.

seems really hard to get back my stuff from jimmy. dunno wats holding him back. hmmm, rain even told me dat jimmy told dem i'm still crazily in love with him. really so funny. haha.

work has been very bad. lesser and lesser schedule. kind of fucked up. next week gg oversea ler den things cork up dis way. haiyo!

might have to postpone my thai trip. thai now is in such a chaos. hais. waited for this trip for so long ler den now like dat. damn suay la. argh!

2009-04-06T18:56:00.000+08:00

messed up life.

wat im having now is kind of too much. too much for me to handle. too much of everything except money. haha. i had too many guys, too much free time, too much sleep, too much food. i didnt wanted things to turn out dis way. its going like mad. and i'll actually pass e virus to anyone close to me. may be to others, i seems to have a really enjoyable life. but dis is not wat i really wanted. i'm a very simple person. but i just dont look like one. i mean u cant judge a book by its cover ah. hmmm i just wan dat certain someone, a down-to-earth job and better health. i think dats all i want to be contented.

im always too greedy in e past. i've learn to be contented now. hmmm, but things don always go e way we wanted. so im gonna make all this happen. i always believed in this quote, ' happiness is in one's hands '. fight for ur own happiness. knowing dat u've done ur best, done ur part, u're nt going to regret it in anyway. =)

anyway dere's this certain guy dat i just knew like a week ago. he's really very nice and very very sweet. i seriously enjoyed his company. and im gonna spend most of my weekends with him. dats really make me so excited and nervous at e same time. haha. this time, im nt going for one dat i'll always go for in e past. this certain guy, he's very diff from any of my ex. so hoping deep down things will work out fine.

work has nt been really great. i hate my night job now. seriously alot. im gonna find another night job asap and quit this one. its really killing me. hmmm thinking of may be back to a waitress? think dats e only choice. anyone got lobang pls let me know~

2009-03-31T15:06:00.000+08:00

OUT WITH RAM~
it was fun with her company. had a long day. went chinatown to find her super cheap and nice skirt. haha. was damn beat by 10plus. its 10plus! the time when i'm e most active. omg. im really able to see e change in me now. ha! hmmm. anyway, am really happy with my life now. its really more meaningful. i do things dat i feel like, dat i wants to and of cos no one will say NO!

*ice-creams~

*dinner at chinatown~

*this is e chef of e cafe la ~ he's a bodybuilder. ( nude shoots posted too )

feel kind of happy. jimmy actually called me today. felt relieved. im still e one he turns to when he needed help. at e very least, we could still be frens. was really happy over this fact. anyway, he actually even asked for his birthday present. and my fren went like ' he was so cruel to u dat time. ignoring ur msges, telling u off, saying dat its ur own problem not his, didnt even bother to do sumthing when he noes u never eat for one whole day. SO WHY E HELL ARE U STILL BOTHERING ABT HIM AND HIS SO CALLED OWN PROBLEM? tell him to get his hazel to get him one! ' haha. i'm like so lost for words at dat very moment. its quite true, but i really dunnoe. haha.

anyway here's some past photos. just so random. didnt have a happening enough reason to post them.

*outside arena on a friday night

* driving night out with JOLINE~

yes, she's e one driving my aunty's car. i'm like so scare la! my heart oso jumped out~ haha. luckily, it came back in a piece.

2009-03-27T15:28:00.000+08:00

i'm kind of stupid ~

hmmm, change my blog over from xanga to blogspot. and i really felt its so hard to handle. i'm still not able to solve e photos thing. give me some time ah.

okay, things for me now is real fine. i'm starting to enjoy my life already. and i seriously wish him and hazel e best. oh ya and my buddy too. gary and serene. =) cheers ~

2009-03-21T12:30:00.000+08:00

tell me dat i'm still the one in ur heart

seems like the one in his heart is no longer me.there's really nothing i can do anymore.his mind is made, and there really seems to be no way we can be tgt again.may be its really time to let go.
take care, my dearest.

2009-03-19T12:28:00.000+08:00

depression~

seriously think i'm gonna suffer depression soon. i'm going crazy soon, at least. tats i'm for sure. i really seems all fine and happy on e surface. but deep inside, i'm really really breaking down.
he knows wat happen to me and andra, i think. now the r/s seems even harder to save. i broke his heart badly. he used to trust me so much yet i ... i've betray his trust. and i really felt so guilty abt it.

I'M REALLY SORRY! dats to my dearest baby.

anyway he seems happy without me. i dunno if he's putting up a mask or wat. but its all my fault dat things turn dis way. i didnt noe he's so important to me, i took him for granted. i'm really regretting for all e sins i've done.

* i'll give up anything just to have him back by my side.

he doeant have to trust me , or love me like before. he can show me attitudes, not meet me everyday. anything, he can treat me real mean, but i really don mind. i swear! i just wanna treat him double the way he used to dote on me in e past. as to repay my sins and shows my love for him.

he msg hazel asking her to go lookers find him and accompany him to a songka. and hazel even have e cheek to ask me if i think he's serious or wat. even thought, i noe dat he wont be tgt with any same company staff, but it just makes me feel weird. may be jealous, or angry, i really dunnoe, just weird. it matters to me alot. but i really cant say or do much. may be its my retribution. cos of joanna case. they actually mistaken me as the third party, when he had another gf after joanna den me. i've lost joan dis nice fren for him. now, i've lost both. and he actually deleted all my photos from his frenster acct.think dis time really e end for us ler. hais.

Loving someone is so hard, keeping it a secret is even harder.

Never say u love me if u dont really care,

Never talk about feelings if they aren't really thea,

Never hold my hands if u really gonna break my heart,

Never say u r going to if u dun plan to start,

Never look into my eyes if u r going to lie,

Never say Hi if u really mean GoodBye,

If u really mean foever, Then say u wil try,

Never say forever coz forever makes me cRy.

2009-03-16T12:27:00.000+08:00

我需要你的爱

当你选择了云的距离就让我自私做的决定冲破天际飞去排山倒海崩塌的回忆也许我可以袭击我的心痛得不能自己或许你以为把这一座城市抛开就可以纠结伤害却不明白我需要你的爱不管多少阻碍不求什么未来不管命运会怎么安排我会用眼泪洗去所有的不堪狠狠地把心痛了断深深地把一切重来我需要你的爱像掉进了深海也像坠落悬崖找不到地方逃开别让那些谎言把爱给活埋当心碎成一块一块当爱碎曾一断一断我会等待你的爱哦~~~排山倒海崩塌的回忆也许我可以袭击我的心痛得不能自己或许你以为把这一座城市抛开就可以纠结伤害却不明白我需要你的爱不管多少阻碍不求什么未来不管命运会怎么安排我会用眼泪洗去所有的不堪狠狠地把心痛了断深深地把一切重来我需要你的爱像掉进了深海也像坠落悬崖找不到地方逃开别让那些谎言把爱给活埋当心碎成一块一块当爱碎曾一断一断我会等待我会等待我会等待别让那些谎言把爱给活埋当心碎成一块一块当爱碎曾一断一断我会等待

i really need u badly.
i simply doesnt want things to end up dis way between us.
its all my own fault. my own doings.
so now, he really doesnt want me anymore. here's really a fullstop to our story.
i'll respect his decision and get out of his life totally.
this is the only thing i can do right now.
i pray dat he'll be happy and safe everyday.
he used to be my everything. i didnt realise dat i love him and needed him so much.
only till when everything is too late.
i took him for granted.
and i'm really really regretting.

* god, pls keep him safe everyday.

2009-03-11T12:24:00.000+08:00

i miss him badly.
i'm so wrong. tot i'll be happier without him. it was all my stupid mistakes.
i really miss him badly now.

miss the way we quarrel
miss e way we talk back to each other
miss e way he gives in to me
miss e way he dotes on me no matter wat i've done
miss him cuddling me to bed
miss him squeezing me to one corner
miss him tickling me
miss him blocking my views when watching shows
miss him buying me supper
miss him cooking for me
miss waiting for him at lookers
miss him sending me to work
miss him asking me not to stress, just try my best
miss disturbing him
miss him waking me up from sleep everyday
miss drinking lemon tea tgt
miss him looking at me eat supper
miss him snatching the comp with me
i miss thailand with him

i really wish time can turn back. he's out of town now, at bangkok. the tot of him being so far away from me is just so unbearable. with his character, can we start all over again?
i just wants to tell him ;
baby, its just u dat brighten up my life.
baby, u're e only one i need, u holds the key to my heart.
baby, i'm really really sorry, i've realize my mistakes. i'll never repeat dem again.
baby, for our future n u, i'm willingly to give in and change.
baby, i really loves u.
baby, can we start all over again?

baby, i need you.

2009-03-08T12:38:00.000+08:00

Just got hm not long. had a long and tiring day. hate the way my life is now.

I appear to be enjoying and having lots of fun, but nobody knows e pain i'm suffering and enduring deep inside. i'm really confused by myself. i dunnoe wat is it dat i'm really looking for in my partner. other then dat, my future.

Its really time to start planning. time to put all other stuff to the back of my brain. wahaha. ( can do it anot! ) sometimes even me cant really believe wat i said. hais.

Hmm anyway, find dat nowadays guys are like weird. they keep one sided thinking dat u're his gf. haiyo. rumors been spreading dat i've a new bf!! dat really amaze me. really so surprise to hear dis crap. haha.

I wanna go overseas!!!

2009-02-24T15:08:00.000+08:00

heartache.

he can no longer stand me, no longer take my attitude. tats it. game over. i tried my best to save this r/s but cant. really felt very painful. i don wanna lost him.

am i really a failure? or is there really a problem me? he said i'm not understanding enough. may be to him, i'm really not trying hard enough. but for me, i'm already giving my best. i'm just so spoilt.

may be its really time for me to reflect and change. really cant stop my tears from falling, my heart from aching. no more birthday surprise, thailand trip and all our future plannings. really didnt want things to end up this way.

but our distance is really getting further. is it really my doings? he said, we can only be frens or may be only suitable to be frens. he said we can never ever be tgt again, he's very tired already. my heart really fell from a damn high point. it can never be mend or should i say all dis is my own doings? i really don deserve him?

i really just hope we can start all over again. i'll never ask for anything more.

baby, pls come back to me.

2009-02-23T15:07:00.000+08:00

club de kenzo.
went to work at kenzo. boring boring boring. totally no crowd till around 12 plus when we were about to knock off. no choice so just snap snap snap. haha. and really lucky dat my fren came down to rescue me. but life is still great so long as i noe he loves me. =) contented life~

2009-02-16T13:37:00.000+08:00

vday~
vday! simple celebration.

baby bought dis for me.

bought dis for baby - technics headphone.

japanese bbq restaurtant at beach road.

2009-02-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

slacking day.

boring day. baby and me both off but got no place to go. so we went to the old railway station nearby to slack and enjoy the breeze.

2009-02-08T13:33:00.000+08:00

CONGRATS to weijian~

went to attend weijian's wedding. congrats to weijian! felt so happy for him. he found his own happiness. really hope they'll be loving for as long as possible.will me and jimmy be able to walk the red carpet tgt too? hais

2009-01-20T15:10:00.000+08:00

stormy weather

kind of fine now. no more break ups. got back tgt le.

but its still dark skies. just like those after a heavy rain.

hopefully, rainbow will appear after e sun shine.

just praying deep down, everything will be fine.

2009-01-19T15:10:00.000+08:00

truly disappointed.

i dunnoe wats wrong with me. i seems to be finding faults with him. but i really really cannot accept it.

WE'VE BROKEN OFF. for gurls dat are waiting for this chance, congrats!

have to cancel everything, every little thing. our thailand trip, my birthday gathering, his suprise birthday party, valentine's present. every single thing is going off my calender.

really hurts. esp someone dat u've so much plans ahead with.

its really a very weak relationship. it can stand no storms, no waves. how far can it go if dats the case?

quarrelled for one full day. am really really tired. but just cant get to sleep. doesnt want to stay at hm too.

i really do cherish him. but does he? may be its really time to let go.

2009-01-16T15:11:00.001+08:00

really tired.

Been real lazy to blog. Body was weak this few days.

Keep getting drunk very easily.

Today off, so decided to stay at home to rest.

Spring cleaning for my room is TODAY! Damn tiring.

New year is round the corner. So is my birthday.

Feels weird abt it. Not as excited as before.

Maybe its cause i'm not in the same situation anymore. I dont know!

Really really hope things turn out well for me this year.

2008-12-26T15:12:00.000+08:00

merry x'mas people~
As usual, work on x'mas eve again. Every year i'm burning my holidays.
Went for work at darts the way with xiao mei. Really really struggle to push our shots there.
But anyway still have a great time with some customers there. Drop by 62, the atmosphere there is so much better. Will be working there on newy year eve. Cant wait to go!
It seems like the older we get, the less fun we're having. Special occassion seems to be not that special too.
MERRY X'MAS!

2008-12-25T15:14:00.000+08:00

early celetration with staffs~
Went to do our stuff first den meet up shark, dean, andy, chika and jessica at geylang.
Heard the news of chantel at oasis so all decided to go there, jessica working dere as well.
Pity ah don. Felt sad for him. It obviously not his fault. Maybe shark didnt meant it but his words are really too harsh.
Some stuff to settle, therefore celebrated x'mas at oasis. Super boring place.